A great book for anyone struggling to overcome an addiction. Listen in a conversation about how answering 5 basic questions could be the key to beating your addictions and finding happiness.
(1888PressRelease) August 05, 2009 - This book was written with my deepest desire to help others who are facing addiction in any of its many forms. It is my hope that it will help some achieve sobriety and help those in sobriety to reach a higher level of success. It also serves to help me continue down the path to my vision of a happy and fulfilled life. I am an alcoholic and drug addict that needs to be reminded of where I came from and where I’m going. Maybe together we can succeed.
I have had the good fortune of being able to visit the treatment facility that I graduated from over 21 years ago. It is a rehab for adolescent boys between the ages of 15 and 18 years old. The young men there are one step away from juvenile detention or prison. The facility is run by a non- profit organization that is woefully unappreciated and underfunded. I try to speak to the kids that are there as often as time permits.
Every time I speak at this facility I am nervous and feel terribly inadequate. I am usually struck by thoughts of “who the hell am I to be giving advice?” and “who cares what I think? I’m not some super successful businessman.” Then I remember that I’ve been sober for 22 years in a row! I fight off my doubts and try the best I can to speak from the heart about what has kept me sober. My nervousness fades and is replaced by frustration at seeing the behavior of the residents. Some of them are nearly asleep. Others are too concerned with looking tough and not caring about what’s being said. There are a few that are listening but pretending not to be.
As I stand there looking and listening to these kids I remember myself sitting there just like them, in a complete daze. I was as apathetic as they are now. I look at them and I see that they are so close to being free of their addictions and way of life. They are a few decisions away from happiness and independence. I want to grab their hand and make them reach for it. But I can’t. After I speak to them I shake the hands of the kids that haven’t fled the room to smoke a cigarette or pop on their ipods. Most of them can’t get away from me fast enough! I leave feeling like I’ve missed my opportunity to reach them. I always feel that if I could talk to one kid at a time, over the course of a few hours that I might be able to better get across some of what I see is possible for them. The opportunity to change their lives is right there for them. Getting them to see it, as opportunity is another matter altogether.
But I can’t. There is always a schedule to keep, for them and for me. My business is waiting for me. My family is waiting for me. The kids have their scheduled classes and counseling sessions. I have no degree in counseling. I only have my experience and passion for being the best I can be. I leave feeling that I could have done better. I leave feeling like I have to do a better job of engaging them. My heart wants to make them all better but my brain knows it’s not up to me. You can lead a horse to water… but you can’t make him drink.
I started writing down ideas and thoughts that I hoped would reach these kids. I wanted to have a consistent message to give to them. How could I best relay all the information that I have learned in 20 years of sobriety and from listening to others wiser and more experienced than me and put it into one message? How could I explain all of the lessons I learned the hard way instead of listening to those who had made the same mistakes? I imagined talking to them as if it were a one to one conversation. I imagined how the conversation would be if they weren’t sitting in the common room of the rehab. What if there were no other kids to act tough for? What would I say if there was time and the kid was actually interested in finding a better life? This is how I envisioned it.
“Aaron Duke’s Sober Conversation is testimony that the process of self-improvement once it really begins is continual and never ending... For all the people in the world who are struggling with addictions and those that have dedicated their lives to helping others … this one’s for you.
Congratulations to Aaron Duke.”
Thomas L. Bierbaum, President & CEO
Volunteers of America, Massachusetts
A great book for anyone struggling to overcome an addiction. Listen in a conversation about how answering 5 basic questions could be the key to beating your addictions and finding happiness. 
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