African Americans Learning from the Past to Avoid the 14 Biggest Post-Divorce Mistakes

With the rise in divorce for the African American community has come heartbreak, drama and broken homes as well as a collective need to learn how to navigate through tough breakups. In the spirit of learning from history, Chicago family law practitioner Lester L. Barclay shared the 14 biggest post-divorce mistakes that people can make. End Quote

In The African-American Guide to Divorce & Drama: Breaking Up Without Breaking Down, I share many common experiences that other African Americans have had when going through the divorce process along with ways to avoid them.

(1888PressRelease) February 05, 2015 - Chicago, Ill. - At the beginning of the 20th century, the divorce rates amongst African Americans were just a fraction of what they are today. With the rise in divorce for the African American community has come heartbreak, drama and broken homes as well as a collective need to learn how to navigate through tough breakups.

"Black History Month is not only a time to reflect on the past but also to look ahead to how the future can be improved," explained Chicago family law practitioner Lester L. Barclay, author of the book The African-American Guide to Divorce & Drama: Breaking Up Without Breaking Down. "Unfortunately, divorce is a reality that many African Americans face, but we can learn from the past and avoid making the mistakes that others have made."

In the spirit of learning from history, Barclay shared the 14 biggest post-divorce mistakes that people can make:

1. Mismanaging anger or letting the anger become all consuming
2. Viewing the children as "property" rather than accommodating them as human beings with their own needs, thoughts and feelings
3. Badmouthing the ex to mutual friends
4. Being emotionally unprepared for the "identity crisis" that often occurs after a divorce
5. Failing to get enough emotional support from a network of friends and family
6. Excluding from the support network all those who disagree and are able to give a reality check
7. Stewing too long over the failed relationship, not realizing that forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past
8. Forgetting that the more parties fight, the more the attorney fees accrue
9. Rejecting counseling/therapy to help cope with the mixed emotions
10. Neglecting the terms of the divorce decree and being unprepared for the consequences of violating the decree
11. Procrastinating about removing the ex as a beneficiary on insurance policies, retirement plans, bank accounts and annuities
12. Avoiding compliance with the entry of a "Qualified Domestic Relations Order" (QDRO) and payment of the marital portion of retirement proceeds
13. Failing to comply with the court-ordered transfer of items such as personal and real property and quitclaim deeds
14. Refusing to pay postsecondary educational expenses for children

"As we know, by studying the past, we can avoid history repeating itself," added Barclay. "In The African-American Guide to Divorce & Drama: Breaking Up Without Breaking Down, I share many common experiences that other African Americans have had when going through the divorce process along with ways to avoid them."

The groundbreaking tools and information provided in The African-American Guide to Divorce & Drama: Breaking Up Without Breaking Down serve as supplements to the services provided by divorce attorneys and have been created to show readers how to make the divorce process as peaceful as possible. Regardless of where readers are in the divorce process, Barclay reminds them that it's not too late to impact the outcome and the long-term effects the process will have on the adults and children involved.

The African-American Guide to Divorce & Drama: Breaking Up Without Breaking Down is a detailed guide that skillfully shepherds readers through the often painful process of separation and divorce while seeking to minimize the drama for them and their children. It is being distributed to chain and independent bookstores, wholesalers, libraries, gift and specialty markets and online retailers through Small Press United and is also available in hardcover and as an ebook from Khari Publishing, Ltd., at http://www.divorceanddrama.com.

About Lester L. Barclay -
Lester L. Barclay is the managing partner of the Barclay Law Group in Chicago, Illinois. A graduate of Oberlin College and Case Western Reserve University School of Law, he has practiced matrimonial law since 1985. In that time, he has earned a sterling reputation as a skilled litigator who seeks to maintain the family's integrity during and after divorce.

In addition to his law practice, Barclay is a legal advocate for the disadvantaged and a helpful mentor to young attorneys. He has also been actively involved in civic affairs, serving as president of both the Chicago Office of Tourism and Culture and the Christian Community Health Center in Chicago, and he is a member of the Illinois African-American Family Commission.

His passionate calling is to help children who are so often the collateral damage in custody and divorce matters. Frequently, courts appoint him guardian ad litem to protect the interests of children in marital breakups.

Lester L. Barclay lives in Chicago with his wife, Dr. Sue Barclay, and their three children. To learn more about Barclay, his practice and his book, please visit www.DivorceandDrama.com.

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